NEWS THAT LEAVES A MARK.
Fathers In Aprons Breaking Expectations
Andres Wo Yixuan
6 February 2022
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ANDRES WO finds out more about how one family man is defying gender norms.
Fun beach day out for a little girl. Photo: Andres Wo.
On a relatively normal weekday night, Ang Teck Kee, 43, was busy making dinner for his family when his daughter, Crystal Ang, then 8 years old, waddled into the kitchen. It was then when she curiously asked, “Why is Daddy wearing the apron and not Mummy?”
Mr Ang Teck Kee has been a house husband for 14 years. He usually spends his days busy with cleaning, cooking, and buying groceries, but he is also part of a small but growing community of stay-at-home dads in Singapore.
According to a report by the Ministry of Manpower, in 2017, there had been an increase of about 90 per cent in the population of stay-at-home fathers in Singapore, up from 700 in 2007.
Sociology graduate and lecturer at Raffles Junior College, Mr Ang Ri says, “I believe that we are only starting to break out from traditional mindsets… with the Gen Z-ers being the most progressive and liberal.”
However, not all young minds think alike. Mr Johnathan Su, 18, would not be open to being a stay-at-home father.
“I have nothing against stay-at-home dads, it’s just that I personally wouldn't do it,” he says, adding that he felt that being a stay-at-home father was “the easy way out”.
These beliefs are still being held by many Singaporeans, especially the older generation.
“We have been socialised into thinking that men are supposed to present themselves in a certain way,” Mr Ang Ri says.
“To bring home the dough is to be masculine, and if you subvert this gender norm, then you’ll be subject to stigma and labelling,” he added.
When Mr Ang Teck Kee decided to take on the role, he said his family members found this decision “disgraceful”. When he visited his parents, he would be met with job offers that they had found for him. However, that was just the least of it.
“Every time I visit them, I can feel the tension from them, like they don't really like what I am doing. To them, a guy has to go out to work,” he says.
But Mr Ang Teck Kee remains undeterred. This family-oriented man prefers what he is doing now to his previous job as an aircraft fuel handler.
Father’s Day card drawn by Crystal Ang. Photo: Ang Teck Kee.
“I am doing things for the people that I love now, my job feels easier, I think I am happier now,” he says.
In fact, research done by the United States Bureau of Labour Statistics in 2016 claimed that households where women were the main breadwinners boasts a higher standard of mental well-being for the couple.
Mr Ang Teck Kee started off his journey because his wife earned more money than he did. Fourteen years later, he’s still happy to have made that decision.
According to Mr Ang Teck Kee, he felt lonely in his childhood years due to his parents always being out for work. He feels lucky to be able to be present for his daughter during her childhood years as he realises that many parents in present day would not be able to have this privilege due to their busy work schedules.
“I think children need a lot of attention, and it is hard when both the parents are always working, but now I got the chance to be there for my daughter so why not take it?”
